Honestly, I was in denial. My pregnancy was not planned and it was difficult for me to come to terms with the feeling that my life as I knew it was no more. After she was born, I felt super trapped. I was grieving this woman that I had lost and I was distracted by the fixation of getting “back to normal.” At that time it was really difficult for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

When Luna turned one, she and I dropped everything and went to Colombia, where I have roots. We stayed there for three months. Those three months, and the commitment Luna and I made to be present within them, gave us peace. They gave me time to focus on my child and on myself. I run my own business, and Luna’s father and I were trying to figure out our coparenting relationship.That time allowed me to set a boundary within myself. I discovered breath work, rode horses, and tried mushroom therapy. It was a defining moment in my ability to feel solitude in this new role.

I rediscovered love for self. And I gained a deeper sense of identity. After allowing myself the grace to feel resentment towards my new role, I moved through it and embraced the beautiful relationship my daughter and I have. I am honored to be her mom. I feel more empowered and proud of myself in taking back control of my new life.

I wasn’t expecting Luna, so I had no expectations. I will say, however, that I had no idea the amount of sacrifice becoming a parent really, truly is. In my head, I was simply growing a human who I knew I would love. I wasn’t expecting the journey through all of the tough feelings or the amount of stress and anxiety.

The biggest piece for me is the community. Being around other parents with shared, lived experience. To know that I’m not the only parent to have felt whatever way I may be feeling. I also like that The Den has an emphasis on empowerment of parents through curiosity and through the connections to specialists they plan to offer.